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Take the Time to Talk

 "Every human being in this world is unique. They are welcomed into this world by the living. They should be farewelled from this world by the living. It's a gift to be able to say goodbye to someone you love and not feel alone in your grief"

Do Take the Time to Talk - a meaningful farewell is your gift to them. 

If your loved one say they don't want a funeral tell them Jane's story. Hear Jane's story here:

What do your loved ones need when you're gone?

Your meaningful farewell is for your loved ones. Preplanning your final farewell will allow your loved ones to gather together, support one another, remember and celebrate your life, without the responsibility of making difficult choices in very emotional circumstances. 

Take the time to talk today to your family and Funeral Director to create a meaningful farewell for you and your loved ones when you're gone. 

Where to start

Share your life story

Funerals shouldn’t be the only time we hear wonderful stories about someone we love. Start the conversation now, learn and share all there is know. Rather than it being a sad conversation, sharing stories can be an enjoyable, comforting event for you and your family.

Start by asking, or sharing, stories about simple occurrences in your life – such as a first job, the purchase of your first car, a mentor or person who taught you a life lesson – all these stories help build a picture of a life which can be honoured and celebrated at the appropriate time.

How to have meaningful conversations

There’s no right or wrong way to Take the Time to Talk – the important thing is to start. You don’t need to cover everything in one sitting – the aim is simply to share memories, enjoying time together learning about the past and about hopes for the future.

  • What story do you remember most about your parents?
  • What’s your happiest childhood memory?
  • What was your first car and how much did you pay for it?
  • Who was your first love and how did it happen?
  • Can you think of a mentor you had who helped shape your thinking?
  • What did you do for a living and what lessons did your work life teach you?
  • Can you think of an incident that made you laugh until you cried?
  • What were your favourite games as a child?
  • Did you have pets and what were they?

Family photos, treasured items from your childhood, even family jewellery or books are items that can bring back memories and help the conversation flow. 

Sharing your final farewell preferences is an incredibly thoughtful gift to offer your family

There are so many aspects to a final farewell including decisions such as who will give the eulogy or say some final words, what you would like to wear for your final farewell, and what music you would like played. Each of these components plays an important role in the value of a funeral and shouldn’t necessarily be left up to others to decide. Do you really want your helpful Aunt Mabel to pick your final outfit, or super eager cousin Brian to deliver your life story?

Some people say they don’t want a fuss, and even suggest they don’t need a funeral. As Funeral Directors, we know that being able to gather, remember and celebrate a person’s life allows family and friends to say goodbye in the most meaningful way. Creating a farewell event allows them to begin the journey of saying goodbye.

​Families are keen to do the best to honour their loved one, but differing opinions within families can really add to tension at an already difficult time. Families that have had these Take the Time to Talk conversations ahead of time have a much easier path planning the funeral. By sharing your wishes ahead of time your family don't need to worry about if they are getting things right for you - they can focus on supporting each other at this difficult time.

For more information on planning a funeral, visit these pages on this site:

Learn why funerals are an important part of helping your family grieve
Answer a few questions and request a funeral cost estimate from a Funeral Director(s) of your choice
Find a Funeral Director near you
Find a Celebrants Aotearoa Funeral Celebrant near you
Consider setting money aside in The Funeral Trust